A child changes everything.
All expectant parents probably hear this sentence. And no matter how hard we try to imagine life with our own child, we can only really understand it when the time comes. A completely new rhythm of life, new tasks and a huge responsibility. Many young parents underestimate the changes the birth of a child can bring to their own thoughts and feelings. The love for this little miracle gives rise to completely new, incredibly beautiful, but also unknown feelings. One of these is fear. The love and bond with your own child is often so overwhelming that you hardly recognize yourself.
Uncertainty caused by well-intentioned advice
Especially at the beginning, when a baby still seems so small and fragile, you want to do everything right. After all, you want to be a good mother or father. Your own expectations are extremely high - as is the fear of doing something wrong. In the midst of this new emotional world full of love, fear and high expectations of your role as a parent, uncertainty usually grows: when you are inundated with well-intentioned advice from parents, friends and acquaintances. Different opinions and views, experiences and tips - how are you supposed to get a clear view of all this? If you then try to read up on parenting guides or on the Internet, total uncertainty is inevitable. Today's flood of information from outside is almost impossible to process and classify. How are you supposed to judge as young parents what is really right?
- How long or how often should you breastfeed?
- What is the best way for a baby to sleep?
- How warm should it be dressed?
- Which support is important when?
- When do you start with complementary foods?
There are countless tips and opinions on every topic. And now?
Valuable expert advice
There are certainly topics that are best discussed with an expert, such as medical issues. You will certainly have a trusted pediatrician or midwife to accompany you. They can give you valuable tips if you are unsure.
How to strengthen your sense of construction
For other questions or topics, try to listen to your gut feeling. Then you will instinctively react correctly. In order to feel and strengthen your intuition and gut feeling, you need a little patience. You can lay the foundation for this with the following impulses:
- Always take time and peace to be close and have physical contact with your child, e.g. cuddling, stroking, bonding. These can be fixed rituals or any time spent together (or with three) in between.
- During this time, free yourself from external influences (smartphone, television, etc.).
- Observe your child and his reactions. Be very conscious of him – again and again. His facial expressions, his movements, his sounds. Is your child happy and relaxed?
- Feel it: What is good for your child? What calms them down? In this moment – and in other situations too?
- How do you feel about it? Do you feel comfortable with what you are doing or deciding? Do you feel safe with it?
Over time, you will develop a feeling for it. You will be able to recognize your child's needs better and react instinctively. To do this, switch off the outside world, listen to yourself and discover your mother or father instinct. Try it out!
Don't be too hard on yourself
Especially if you are a first-time parent and everything is still new, be considerate of yourself. When your child is born, you are also born as a father and mother. This means that you too have to get used to the new situation. Not everything can work perfectly right away. Don't be too hard on yourself if you feel that things aren't going so well. Take your time to grow into your new role. Then, over time, you will develop the necessary self-confidence that you and your child need.
