A child changes everything.
All parents-to-be probably hear this phrase. And as much as we try to imagine life with a child of our own, we can only really grasp it when the time comes. A completely new rhythm of life, new tasks and a huge responsibility. Many young parents underestimate the change that the birth of a child can bring to their own thoughts and feelings. The love for this little miracle gives rise to completely new, incredibly beautiful, but also unknown feelings. One of these is fear. The love and bond with your child is usually so overwhelming that you hardly recognize yourself.
Uncertainty due to well-intentioned advice
Especially at the beginning, when a baby still seems so small and fragile, you want to do everything right. After all, you want to be a good mother or father. Your own expectations are extremely high – as is the fear of doing something wrong. In the midst of this new emotional world full of love, fear and high expectations of your role as a parent, uncertainty usually grows: when you are inundated with well-intentioned advice from parents, friends and acquaintances. Different opinions and views, experiences and tips – how are you supposed to get a clear view? If you then want to read up on parenting guides or on the Internet, total uncertainty is inevitable. Today’s flood of information from outside can hardly be processed and categorized. As young parents, how are you supposed to assess what is really right?
- How long or how often should you breastfeed?
- What is the best way for a baby to sleep?
- How warm should you be dressed?
- Which support is important and when?
- When do you start complementary foods?
There are countless tips and opinions on every topic. And now?
Valuable expert advice
There are certainly topics that are best discussed with an expert, e.g. medical issues. You will certainly have a trusted pediatrician or midwife to accompany you. They can give you valuable tips if you are unsure.
How to strengthen your building sense
For other questions or topics, try to listen to your gut feeling. Because then you will instinctively react correctly. To feel and strengthen your intuition and gut feeling, you need a little patience. You can lay the foundation for this with the following impulses:
- Always take time and rest for closeness and physical contact with your child, e.g. cuddling, stroking, bonding. These can be fixed rituals or any togetherness (or togetherness for three) in between.
- Free yourself from external influences (smartphone, TV, etc.) during this time.
- Observe your child and their reactions. Be aware of it – again and again. His facial features, his movements, his sounds. Is your child happy and relaxed?
- Feel your way: What is good for your child? What calms it down? At this moment – and in other situations too?
- How do you feel about it yourself? Do you feel comfortable with what you do or decide? Do you feel safe with it?
Over time, you will develop a feel for this. You will better recognize your child’s needs and instinctively react correctly. To do this, keep switching off the outside world, listen to yourself and discover your maternal or paternal instinct. Give it a try!
Don’t be too hard on yourself
Especially when you have become parents for the first time and everything is still new, be considerate of yourself. When your child is born, you also become a father and mother. This means that you also have to get used to the new situation. Not everything will work perfectly straight away. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel that things are not going so well at the moment. Take your time to grow into your new role. Then, over time, you will develop the self-confidence that you and your child need.